Disappointments

Disappointments

In my mind today, I’m thinking about missing my 30 year high school reunion. I have been pumped up for months about going and having a good time. As this weekend approached, so did a lot of other obligations and life happenings. I learned from a coach once not to ever make excuses, so I’m not. The stars did not align, so I missed it.

I was able to make it to the football game and enjoy seeing a few high school friends and former students. I drove by the after party but didn’t get out. My lungs were screaming and my body was craving my bed. I thought I would just go home and rest all day so I could join in the festivities Saturday. All I needed was my lungs suctioned and rest. This is what I kept telling and reassuring myself.

After realizing I was not going to make the dinner and dance, I became angry, sad, and depressed. I turned into Dismal Sal. Why? Reality stepped into my mind. With my fragile health, I may not see the next reunion. I was livid because ALS is trying to consume me and I’m fighting so hard. An outing with ALS takes a lot out of me, but even more so for my caregivers.

Fatigue hits me each day around five o’clock like a steam roller. No matter how much I rest or try to out last it, it comes over me like a heavy fog. I just want to be still covered in blankets using my bi-pap so I don’t struggle to breathe. When my family gathers at nine o’clock downstairs to put me in bed, a part of me is beginning to rejoice because of the stiffness coupled with little pains from pressure points on my bottom. Sorry back row, I’m just being literal and didn’t mean to give you a visual. I’m writing this so I can get it off my chest and move forward.

C’est la vie with ALS. DHS Class of 1987 I hope to see you all in 2027. I hope the stars will align. If they don’t, I’ll catch you on the flip side. I still have lots of memories and plan on making quite a few more. I quote The Bard of Avon, “Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.”
Sarah Anderson Alley

Dedicated to the DHS Class of 1987
Thanks especially to Michelle, Amy, & Taylor for all of their organizational efforts

Quotes of the Day:
“It takes a certain amount of guts to go to your class reunions”
Dick Cavett

“I was the guy who was friends with everybody. Yes, I had my core group of friends, but I wasn’t part of a clique that excluded people. I hope they thought I was a nice guy. I tried to be just friendly and outgoing. I was class president. I’m supposed to run my class reunion in 2013.”
Austin Stowell

“”I am the type of guy that has always been the same all of my life. My classmates at our class reunion always say the same thing. They could not believe that, being a world artist, I still seem like I was when we were at school together.”
Percy Sledge

Author: showtunessal

Me! I am a retired teacher. I taught 20 years. I retired because of my weakened condition but my mind is afire. I read, write, reflect, and write every day. My POV is usually as a teacher but not always. I have a bucket list and on it is to be a published author. I have many books to write. I want a cure for ALS. I want to spread LOVE. I want my maker to use me until I'm completely exhausted. Life is for living. "Enjoy every sandwich" Warren Zevon

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