My Heart is Overwhelmed

IMG_5694So much is happening in my world. I’m losing muscle strength but the love of God, family, and friends sustains me. When I confide to the trusting souls God has placed in my life, I am able to “back up and punt.” They help me dig deep and create a new game plan. A game plan that takes my focus off of the “me.” I was reminded today that “All Sunshine makes a Desert.”

We all have burdens to bear: bills that need paid, sick friends, and addicted loved ones. It literally overwhelms our hearts. Just the other day I was hoping for an end to my mind being trapped in this human body. The day was full of bustling activities and I became exhausted and hungry. I had to choose whether to eat or breathe. I chose the latter. By suppertime I was ravenous but had to have help eating. So I was stubborn and tried to wait it out not wanting to inconvenience my family. I had another Apostle Paul moment with my pride. I lost, again. I was reproached by my husband. He reminded me that I’m not a burden and not to drive myself to dehydration and hunger. They wanted me here. I swallowed my pride along with my food as he fed me.

Yesterday, my youngest was taking her first college tour. It was too arduous to get me ready and make the appointment. So the pity party began to creep into my mind with confetti and streamers clouding my thoughts. I pushed the negative out and started reading my devotional. I counted my blessings. I prayed. And then she sent me a text, “Thank y’all for giving me freedom and trusting me.” My heart was overwhelmed. I felt God embrace me. I felt so loved and my heart was light. We do need the rain. It washes our perspectives so we can see the sun. Today my prayers are for our overwhelmed hearts that we will not lose heart.
“God I trust in you.”
Amen

Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Overwhelmed Gal

Quotes of the Day:
“Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery – there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.”
Rick Warren

“He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.”
Aeschylus

“I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair.”
Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

Thorns

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In my thoughts today I’m reminded of thorns. Thorns come in all shapes and sizes to the human existence. We have emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical thorns to deal with all throughout our lives.

Summer is the time of relaxing, holidays with family, and lazy days. I’ve had some wonderful lazy days this summer. I haven’t written as much but I’m reading a lot. The mornings are spent reading and studying. This particular morning I read: A thorn in the flesh . . . (2 Corinthians 12:7). I feel ya Paul. Oy vey the thorns already. In this beautiful season there are thorns growing rapidly in the gardens of our hearts. God help us.

Thorns are not always so visible. Everyone can see the thorn I bear. Paul’s thorn he bore is still a mystery to us. I think that was part of the Holy Spirit’s plan. We all have some type of thorn to bear. When God doesn’t relieve Paul of his thorn, it speaks so loud to my own heart and soul. I feel God’s Grace and power and feel the Holy Spirit minding the garden of my soul. Every little thing is gonna be alright. I know that.

I’ve seen several horrific thorns as of late. Parents on meth and children suffering their parents choices. Parents separated from their new born child. People dying from incurable diseases like cancer. Thorns. I’m praying hard that God will remove these thorns. My heart literally aches within my chest when I witness such sadness.

I will embrace my thorns. I will continue to pray. I will trust His Grace is sufficient. Every prayer is answered but not always in ways we want. The plans God has supersedes anything our small minds can fathom. The answers may come to us on the other side of heaven. When your thorns become unbearable, remember the answer Paul received and take heart. It is what speaks to my heart each morning.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Embrace your thorns and be glad.

Sal the Thorn Gal
Sarah Anderson Alley

Quotes of the Day:
“If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns”
Issac Hayes

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.”
Voltaire

“Truths and roses have thorns about them.”
Henry David Thoreau

“Although the life of a person is in a land full of thorns and weeds, there is always a space in which the good seed can grow. You have to trust God.”
Pope Francis

They Kept the Faith

In my mind today, I’m pretty rattled. In all truth the past few weeks have been full of grief. A classmate and former student of mine started their new chapter in heaven. This earthly life is one of many questions and uncertainties. Keeping the faith is so hard when sadness is all around. My prayers lately are “God help me keep the faith. I know I’m but a wretched sinner myself and do not deserve all the good that you give me. Just use me as part of your plan and please forgive my mean words, thoughts, and actions.” Yes, we all have chinks in our character, me especially.

This morning I read about Peter and Paul. It helped to remind me that all is not lost. We all remember Peter’s big declarations, “Lord, I could never deny you!” Then the old cock crows and he is scared and his faith is shaken. In these tough times, I feel Peter’s pain. I know you do, too. Then after the resurrection he tells Peter to tend and feed his sheep. He understands our two big W’s: weakness and wretchedness.

Then we have the Persecutor Saul/Paul. He was super wretched. He was responsible for many deaths of early Christians. God took his sight so he could be able to see the real truth and meaning of life. He became one of the best vehicles for spreading truth and light into our muddled world. The letters of Paul never fail to ignite my heart.

I want to think that today our lives are the worst they’ve ever been. People dying of cancer too soon, brokenness of families, suffering children, and rampant addictions coupled with ignorance make me want to just give up. Toss it all away and just take care of my family and forget all of the nuts out there. My faith just wavers some days like it has the past few weeks. I want to be like Peter and run or roll away in my wheelchair. I make myself pick up my devotional, Bible, and spiritual reading and whisper prayers “God help me. God protect my loved ones. God help me. The world is getting to me. Please hear me. Let me be a light. Don’t let me give up. Help me understand that this life is not all that we have. Thank you for listening.” Your Wretched & Weary Gal Sal
Amen
I keep the faith. Why? It’s all we really have. The world has always been a mess and will continue to be so because humans are broken. Here’s the objective kids: In keeping the Faith, doing good deeds, and creating a culture of love, we win the race. We finish well. Each of our little lives matter in the big picture. I’m trying hard not to give up. Don’t ever give up and walk with me by Faith and not by sight.

Sal the Rolling by Faith Gal
Sarah Anderson Alley

Dedicated to:
Kelly Jo Blair Hicks
Teresa Hughes Milligan

Quote of the Day:
“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”
Mother Teresa

“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.”
Rabindranath Tagore

“Our last earthly breath is the beginning of happily ever after.”
Sarah Anderson Alley

Fathers

 

Have you ever seen a man that loves to hold infants? The babies that are fresh to the world and just little squirmy, helpless creatures? This is one of the reasons I love my husband so much. He loves holding tiny, helpless babies. It’s just so endearing to watch him.

Birthing each of my children was a traumatic event for me. Once they were here I knew I had to dig deep and survive. The first six weeks was a blur. Don’t get me wrong. I was very grateful and madly in love with my infant children, but the daily life didn’t stop. So the baby had to be incorporated into my busy life. It was tough. Those first weeks of nurturing were a form of sleep-walking. I was so relieved when Ken would step in and cuddle our little ones. He never looked more handsome than when he was holding our babies. What a man.

Babies still enchant our lives. Each family gathering Ken is always holding the newest addition. I watch him in awe. I think how blessed his children are to have such an amazing father. He is really so special. If you ever encounter a man that loves babies then I guarantee he will be a wonderful father. He is a priceless treasure.

Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the I Love Ken Gal

Dedication:
Happy Father’s Day, Ken. You are one of the best and we love you.

Quotes of the Day:
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Jim Valvano

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.”
John Wooden

“It is a wise father that knows his own child.”
William Shakespeare

 

 

895 Miles


Today as I was jostled awake and placed into my chair, I was thinking of my children. I’ve been so blessed with each child God gifted to me.

I drank my coffee and looked out my kitchen window at the many bird feeders and birdhouses. This is a treat in every season. The feeders are low thanks to a squirrel who has decided to live on the Alley compound. I know my Ben will fill them for me. He also keeps my flowers watered by the window in the living room so I can see the hummingbirds zip in to feed every day. He has chosen to be my primary caregiver. A part of me hates this because he is putting his life on hold to care for me. He reassures me that he is okay and wants to be my person. We live one day at a time and this time with him has been so fruitful. I thank God for it. He makes living in a chair not just bearable but sunny.

Then I thought of my oldest Ian. He just started a new career and got married. I say little prayers for him throughout the day. He has chosen a tough career, but he assures me it is one he enjoys. I can’t believe he is just a year away from being thirty years old. My sons have become men overnight. They each love our family fiercely. They each bring joy to our lives. I’m so blessed for the love they give us.

Oh my youngest was a gift from above, too. I hate that my body started to betray me while she was so young. I couldn’t be the field trip chaperone mom. I couldn’t fix her hair because my hands and arms atrophied first. I feel she was cheated of the physically strong mother her brothers had. We made the best of the situation. Now, she’s on the cusp of her senior year in high school. As I thought of her this morning, I smiled. She’s on a summer adventure in New York City. She studying her two of her favorites: theatre and journalism. She’s staying in the heart of Manhattan at the Fordham University Lincoln Center. Each day I check my messages and there’s a new adventure. “Mom, guess what?” Me excitedly, “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?” Abbey replies, “Just saw Sarah Jessica Parker getting on the subway. No big deal.” Me “NO WAY!” Then she tells me, “Yup, going in the subway by Central Park near the Brownstone neighborhood.” She’s 895 miles from me, but our hearts are always together. I know she will fly far from me but nothing not even ALS can separate our hearts. She will carry us along. It is sad that our season of parenting is coming to a close. The dynamics will change, but that’s life. When I think of my children, I am so humbled that God chose me to be their mother. I’m grateful for each moment and memory. It’s been my greatest adventure.

Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Mom Gal

Quotes of the Day:
“My children are the reason I laugh, smile and want to get up every morning”
Gena Lee Nolin

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
Fredrick Douglass

“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.”
Billy Graham

Grace, Mercy, & Love

Think of times you are given gifts. It feels really good when others think of you. As a child, you expect gifts. The more you receive the better. Right? In my adult years, I’ve always been bashful about receiving gifts. This drives my husband crazy! He is just so thoughtful and always has been. I can’t pinpoint when “stuff” became so unimportant to me.

I remember as a child I always was doted on especially by my father. He always tried to give me special surprises. I can remember when he would come home and I would run to him and say, “What did you bring me Daddy?” It may have only been a candy bar, but he always had something for me. Even during his alcoholic binges he would appear with gifts for me. I have a vivid memory of him showing up reeking of alcohol and bringing me the brand new bicycle I had been dreaming about. It was on display at a local hardware store downtown. It was a sparkly blue and best of all it had a banana seat! The seat was striped with blue and yellow. It had a white plastic woven basket with three pink flowers across the front. Boy, I loved that bike. I remember my mother coming out on the front porch and saying, “John, how did you get that bicycle?” Remember, I said he was on another binge. That always coincides with lost or quit job, running around with drinking buddies, and no money. I can’t tell you how many times my sweet, beautiful, hard-working mother had to endure this cycle. It breaks my heart. Well, my mother went to the phone and called the store. The bicycle was put on her credit account. So now she had to figure a way to pay yet another bill, keep our house, and feed all of us while my Father swooped in and gave me this lavish birthday present. She did and 42 years ago I got the bike of my dreams. It took about seven more years but my Dad was able to overcome his addiction. That was one of the best gifts of all.

This year a few weeks ago, Ken asked, “What do you want for your birthday?” I really have it all and it’s not materialistic. It’s Grace, Mercy, and Peace. I have been gifted the Grace to roll around, head high, and be oblivious to the condition of my physical self. I have Mercy which showers me and strengthens me knowing that the selfish me no longer controls my choices. I am comforted with an inner Peace. I know from where all of my gifts come and they are freely given to anyone only if they embrace them. This life has been and still is so fruitful. I still have many miles to roll, places to see, and moments to live. You do, too. God will see to it. Be brave. Have Faith to accept your gifts of Grace, Mercy, and Peace.

Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Gift Loving Gal

Quotes of the Day:

“I believe that God has put gifts and talents and ability on the inside of every one of us. When you develop that and you believe in yourself and you believe that you’re a person of influence and a person of purpose, I believe you can rise up out of any situation.”
Joel Osteen

“It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.”
Maya Angelou

“Each day provides its own gifts.”
Marcus Aurelius

 

Moral Compass

Moral Compass

I’ve been on earth almost half of a century. My life has had many highs and several lows. To stay sane you have to just roll with the changes trusting that whatever storm we are facing will pass just as those fun, love-filled times did. Through it all we have to put our best foot forward and finish our race. Which foot should we use? What pace should we run? All these come from our moral compass.

When I read headlines or catch a glimpse of the news, it troubles me. Something has gone terribly wrong. There are children hurting so badly that they open fire on each other. There’s human trafficking to fill perverted sexual desires. The abundance of children living with a parent who love getting high more than their precious children. The need for people to escape the reality of this world through chemical means. Are we mentally softer or weaker than generations past or am I imagining things? When the going gets tough we go searching for something at the pharmacy to right it. Is being made of sterner stuff a thing of the past?

There is so much hate and confusion. I read scriptures and pray each day for God to use me. I want to be like Jesus. I want to empty myself and spread love. I want there to be love left everywhere I go. Remember in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis when Aslan comes back and everywhere he prances flowers and plants spring to life? That’s what I envision me doing in my wheelchair. Me embracing my moral compass and everywhere I go leaving a trail of beauty behind me as I roll! Then, I will come to my end and step into eternity and be at peace. It’s urgent for us to dig deep, clean out the garden our souls, and use those compasses that God gave us.

What the world needs now more than ever is to grow our moral compasses. We are currently at a huge crossroad. Everyone wants to be right. Everyone feels they have the knowledge and discernment to be the judge on so many moral issues. We have lost the intimacy of being humans. Sharing meals and taking time to listen to our children and spend time with our elders. Don’t get me wrong. I depend on technology for so much, but the access of so much too soon is a problem. It’s literally poisoning the minds of our children, promoting immoral behaviors, and making everything a world of me not we. We are in this together. Just one kind gesture at a time and we can begin to move toward decency. It costs nothing to be kind and considerate. Being cruel or mean is never an option. We have to find our moral compass or I fear the human race will be lost forever.

Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Moral Compass Gal

Quotes of the Day:
“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.”
Michelle Obama

“Conscience is a man’s compass.”
Vincent Van Gogh

“Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.”
Brad Henry