Woman of God

This Lent I discovered this prayer from Mother Olga of the religious order founder and servant mother of the Daughters of Mary of Nazareth. This prayer will stay on my lips until my last breath, “Empty me. Fill me. Use me.” It cleanses my heart. It fills me with the Holy Spirit. Most importantly it gives my heart, soul, and being to God to use for His purpose. It’s given me a Holy GPS. It is an autopilot option. It’s my sorrow and broken heart detector. My heart, mind, and soul guide me to the need and the Holy Spirit gives me the words to say not only in person but on social media, emails, and blogs like this one. 

It has been a tumultuous Lent. I have been so busy with trying to make sure the fundraiser for Matthew 25:40, Inc. was successful. I have been doing two different devotionals for Lent. Watching my daughter struggle with being a new mom, going to nursing school every night , and caregiver to me, an ALS quadriplegic with sparse help primarily at night. Trying to make myself as small as possible to help her marriage survive as we both battle through this season. Even though we have an amazing sitter and weekend breaks, my girl has had the hardest Lent of her life. Things unravel in our lives and we can only wade through desperately trying to knit it back together, but try as we might sometimes we have to “Let go, and Let God.” Only then does healing begin. That’s how we should all do. On top of all of this, I had the CROSS4CHRIST walk for M25:40 at 9 am and the Chamber Banquet at 6 pm the Saturday before Palm Sunday. The chaos was crazy, but God calmed the seas. I made it to both.

Arriving at the Chamber Banquet sunburned and exhausted with my son and grandson, he said, “Momma there are lots of women up for the Woman of the Year, even doctors. Are we dressed up enough?” I assured him we were fine. As soon as we entered, I saw people I knew from my past. The first was a former student. She worked for the Chamber. She emailed me to see if I needed tickets a few days before the banquet. I had almost decided not to go, then I kept thinking about what the Hospice Chaplin said that was a good opportunity to let God shine through me. So I emailed at the last minute. All night, people came up to me and we relived memories. My son asked, “Do you have a speech ready?” I had just been praying over and over, “Lord, I don’t want this award. Please, take it away.” So, I started thinking about parables. I remembered one from my daily devotionals, The Widow and the Coins. I also kept thinking I want to be known as a Woman of God not Woman of the Year. 

Then, we came to the award before the Woman of the Year. It was a young man who was successful in founding his own construction business and also became a Baptist preacher, too. He gave God all the glory. I felt the Holy Spirit. They started to read about the next award and I was praying, “Not me, not me, not me.” I heard them say, “This nominee was an educator for 20 years…” and the tears began to fall. I had to say something for God. I was praying for the Holy Spirit to fill me and give me the words to turn hearts back to God in a world saturated with sin and self indulgence. Our jobs are to take care of each other. We are to love God above everything and everyone. I was trying to get my ventilator unplugged and roll to the microphone. They brought it to me and told me I didn’t have to speak if I didn’t want to speak. I almost had my grandson stand up in his chair and say “ ‘There’s Superman Jason Reed’* I said, “The only muscle that still works is my jaw muscle, so I am going to speak. I love Dyer County. I grew up here. I see so many people here that I know: Wilson, Lisa, Ann, Joe, and so many I can’t name them all. There is a special thread that runs through us and that is our faith in God. We take care of each other. Do you remember the parable about the widow that swept the floor for the coin and would not quit until she found every coin? My question is what coin are you? A gold coin? A shekel? It doesn’t  matter. Each one of you is just as important as the other. We are all children of God. We are all in different boats and we just need to get them going in the same direction like C. S. Lewis said. I want to share with you what I have been doing this Lent the 40 days before Easter and pray with me this simple prayer: ‘Empty me. Fill me. Use me.’ Empty me Dear God of all my sins and the negative thoughts and actions that are separating me from You God. Fill me God with the Holy Spirit. Help me be more like You. Turn us and our community back to You, God. Then God, use me. Use me to reach the Least of us. Use me for your purpose. Use me until I am gone. In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Thanks to all of you who support me with the Autumn March Race, Matthew 25:40, Inc., and my crazy, spontaneous ventures to help others. God bless you and take the microphone because I could talk all night.”  And that was it, I let the Holy Spirit give me the words. So many people told me how much they loved and appreciated my speech. In the parking lot, Superman had a prayer circle praising God for using us to bring the Word to our community. I totally forgot to tell them I want to be known not as the Woman of the Year but just a Woman of God. 

Sarah Anderson Alley 

Sal the Woman of God Gal

Quotes of the Day by C. S. Lewis:

• “The whole Christian community is the one really adequate instrument for learning about God.”
• “We can only reflect God’s image in community.”
• “God can only show Himself to real men who are united together in a body.”
• “By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.”