In my mind, I’ve been lost lately. Losing my soul mate has riveted me to my mortal coil. My spirit wants to fly free from this body and desperately be where his spirit has flown. Everything, EVERYTHING, reminds me of him. I know God has more for me to do so I stuff my grief down as far as I can “suck it up buttercup.” I wake with tears and fall asleep with tears in my eyes. And some days I can stop them, but other days are just for crying. The days my eyes clear, I am looking for God’s purpose for this broken-hearted widow. God never disappoints and when I live that purpose it helps me to smile. I also feel Ken cheering me on so double bonus.
August 25th 1990, Ken and I went to a Poco/38 Special concert at the Millington Air Base. That was 32 years ago today. It is memories like these that sustain me.
I was 6 months pregnant with our 1st child together, Ian. I can still see his black hi-top Chuck Taylor Converse, Rolling Stones concert shirt, and faded Levis. I had on overalls and felt so unattractive, but he said, “You have never been more beautiful.” We sat on the grass on a blanket and he held me when those wonderful love songs played: Crazy Love, Rose of Cimarron, Heart of the Night, and his favorite Brass Buttons.
Poco was the opening act. Before Ken, I had no clue about Poco. I had heard their songs but just thought they sounded like The Eagles. Ken told me, “No The Eagles actually sounded like Poco.” He then explained the genealogy of the two bands and yes students the empirical evidence shows The Eagles sound originated with Poco. We both loved music so much. He and I were prodigies of the air guitar. We both would have loved to have been born with musical ability, but we could only be music enthusiasts. My music tastes matched his perfectly because I was brought up listening to 70’s music, his Era, thanks to my big brothers and sisters. It was just uncanny how well we matched up despite the 14 year age difference.
Thirty-two years ago seems like yesterday. The other day when I asked Alexa to play songs by Poco, I said the first song would be our Poco song. Guess what it was, students. Back row exactly right! Crazy Love! I let the tears flow, but they were grateful, happy, and ugly big tears. So grateful to have had this kind love that lasted our thirty-three years. Happy to know he truly loved me with every fiber of his being. Big, ugly tears remembering how we always had our Saturdays by the pool listening to music, weekend mornings when he would wake us up with music, and when he played “our” songs just for me and I would go to the study and kiss him which led to other good stuff. (Sorry students, I know TMI.) Today I will definitely sit outside and watch the sun set while listening to Poco. Will I cry? Most assuredly but a good one.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Crazy Love Gal
Quotes by Poco
Count the stars in the summer sky
That fall without a sound
And then pretend that you can’t hear
These teardrops coming down
It happens all the time
This crazy love of mine
Wrapped around my heart
Refusing to unwind
Ooh-ooh, crazy love, ah
Hearts like yours belong
Following the dawn
Wrapped up in a song
Rose of Cimarron
In the heart of the night
In the cool southern rain
There’s a full moon in sight
Shining down on the Pontchartrain
And the river she rises
Just like she used to do
She’s so full of surprises
She reminds me of you
In the heart of the night
In the heart of the night
In the heart of the night
Oh, whoa, down in New Orleans
There’s a night bird singing
Right on through till the dawn
And the streets are still ringing
With people carrying on
It’s been so long waiting
Just to be here again
Anticipating
All the time I could spend
In the heart of the night
In the heart of the night
In the heart of the night
And I trust in your love never falling down
I trust in your love
Just like I do in this town
Whoa, never falling down
Whoa, never falling down
In the heart of the night
In the cool fallin’ rain
There’s a full moon in sight
Shining down on the Pontchartrain
And the river she rises
Just like she used to do
She’s so full of surprises
Oh, momma, she reminds me of you
Right here, in the heart of the night
In the heart of the night
In the heart of the night
Down in New Orleans
And I’m so glad to be back in New Orleans
Please don’t wake me, don’t shake me
If it’s only, if it’s only just a dream
It’s the only place I can face that feels so right
Below that Dixie moon and loving you
In the heart of the night
showtunessal 
What a sweet memory. Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry for your loss.
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I’m sorry to hear about your loss and the grief you experience from time to time…don’t feel bad for I have lost 4 close relatives this year! All we could do is reminisce about those special moments we shared with them and enjoy the time we have left on earth before God call us home! We will eventually see them again and rejoice but this time, we won’t have to worry about sorrow or hurt anymore! Continue to stay encouraged!
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