The 4th Watch
In my mind today I’m thinking of compliments and watches. Back row students not the kind that guys give to get dates like, “Where have you been all of my life gorgeous?” Compliments like opposites: positives~negatives, moon~sun, east~west, light~dark, smooth~rough, good~evil, or cold~hot. I just finished a book and it mentioned this and that our world is filled with complimentary opposites.
This weekend actually Saturday, my complimentary opposite became severely ill. He was hurting in his lower left rib cage and could not breathe or get any relief. It was an acute exacerbation. Here’s some backstory. In 2009, right before my son’s high school graduation he found out his lungs were horribly damaged. Doctors said he had end stage emphysema or now called COPD. We visit Vanderbilt every six months to see our pulmonary doctor. Every time Dr. B tells us Ken is amazing, a miracle. She warns us of the precipice he is walking. Then with PMA/ALS, we walk together teetering along clinging to each other desperately. Yesterday, he tipped over the edge.
As I clung to his warm hand last night, I kept him on this side of heaven. He gripped my hand tightly as we survived the 4th watch of the night. This is the desolate and hardest hours for sick patients in the hospital: 3am until 6am. Prayers during this time are powerful.
I’m here beside him and refuse to leave because he is my sun and I am his moon. We have traversed this life together for almost 28 years. We’ve had seasons of struggles, love, playing softball and baseball, watching our kids play, Tiger basketball, our Grands, and so, so much more. I keep remembering all the love we’ve shared and it spills over into eons not a mere 28 years. I’m so grateful. I remember watching the movie “Walk the Line” about Johnny Cash and June Carter. My daughter and I were obsessed with the soundtrack and movie. I researched more about this love story and cried because they only had 35 years together. I kept crying thinking that’s not long enough for such an amazing love.
Holding Ken’s warm hand, I kept thinking of this. I’m being greedy and selfish because I’m arguing with God for more. I’m here with the bleeping of machines, clicking of IV drips, and whooshing of his vent clinging to that warm hand and standing guard for the 3rd & 4th watch. I know I’ll meet God in the darkness early this Monday morning as my soul mate fights. Tomorrow if you think about me or Ken or our children, say a prayer for strength and more warm hand holding for us. I’m praying for strength.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Dedicated to:
Liz and George
Betty and Harold
Pete and Gloria
Peggy and Bob
Robert and Tracy
Sandy and Tom
You have been blessed with having and sharing life with a love that never dims but continues to shine in each other, your children, grandchildren, and all those who had the blessings of witnessing it first hand.
Lots of amazing events happen in the 4th watch.
• Jacob wrestled with God and met Him face to face just before entering into his destiny as Israel. Genesis 32:22-31
• Moses led the Israelites across the Red Sea Exodus 14:25-26
• Gideon defeated the Midianites (middle watch), Judges 7:19-24
• Peter and Jesus walk on water, Matthew 14:25-26
• The angels appear to the shepherds in the field to announce the birth of the savior. Luke 2:8-14
• Jesus is resurrected from the dead, Matthew 28:1
• The bridegroom woes His bride in the night hours, Song of Solomon, Matthew 25:1-13
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