Judge Less Not….
In my mind, I try always to be understanding and open. Everyone has a story. The world all treats us in unique ways. Sometimes we draw the short straw and aren’t blessed with a secure, loving family. We are all born with our own life path. Bad situations encounter us as we walk through this valley on earth no matter what faith we choose to guide us to our eternal life.
As humans, we are born flawed. We have so much potential for good, but in turn we can also do just as much for evil. This is where my heart begins to ache. I’m Catholic. My family is Catholic. In the South, it’s tough to be Catholic. People are so suspicious and we have several myths that surround our faith: We worship Mary not Jesus, we worship statues or idols, and we are not Christians. These are the top three myths in my little town. I’m sure they vary region to region. Here’s my best explanation. We admire Mary and believe she is in heaven. She is special. We do have statues but those are to remind us of the holy ones who are now in heaven. We are Christians, the first after the death of Jesus to be exact. We celebrate communion, the Lord’s Supper, just as the first apostles did and believe this sacrifice tradition with prayers is God in the bread and wine through Transubstantiation. This is also the tradition that sets us apart. The Eucharist is not a symbol. It is Emmanuel, God with us.
In light of the recent trials, being Catholic has yet another battle to face. As I mentioned, humans are flawed. The recent events were committed by men who used my wonderful faith to harm others. This shattered my heart and inflamed my spirit. I’ve had to pray so hard. I pray for those victims. I pray for the souls of the ones who abused them. I pray for my faith and others whose faith that has been shaken. These horrible tragedies occur much to often in the name of God. What can we do?
Almost 30 years ago, I found Catholicism. I had been searching my entire life for a church home. Every church I had attended did not speak to my soul until I attended a Catholic mass. I immediately felt at home. The entire service was so intense and focused on one thing, the Eucharist. I noticed as they processed to the altar such a reverence. There was such a hodgepodge of ethnicities. I felt no judgement only light. Rich and poor all gathered to share in one thing, Jesus Christ. My heart yearned to be part of this body of Christ. It took a few years before I was able to take the walk with my brothers and sisters to receive His precious body in communion, but when I did my life was forever altered. My life has been so full and blessed. The hard times have been made bearable. I have an inner peace that can only come from God. My inner compass is always pointed toward its true North.
I ask myself once again, “What can we do?” Horrendous tragedies have befallen our faith, our churches, and our communities. The Catholic Church, my church, does so, so much good in the world. I don’t want to disregard those events, but I know they were not from God. Jesus is still at every mass waiting to meet us and to heal our wounds. I still believe in the Eucharist, Jesus. I will never stop believing in and receiving Christ at mass until I am called to my eternal home where all questions will be answered. Until then, I will pray for those victims and their trespassers . I will pray for the healing of Christ in our fallen world. I will continue to “Be Bold and Be Catholic.”
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Catholic Gal
I believe in God,
the Father Almighty,
Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died and was buried;
He descended into hell;
on the third day He rose again from the dead;
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
from there He will come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic Church,
the communion of Saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting.
I Can Only Imagine
In my mind today I’m thinking about how spring break engulfed me. Boy, students I really took a sabbatical. Back row, that means a huge break. I indulged myself in watching college basketball, making out tournament brackets, and reading. Oy vey! I made out twenty-five different tournament bracket predictions. The perfect holiday for Sal the Life-long Learning and Basketball Loving Gal. I’m now disappointed in myself. I didn’t write like an aspiring author should. Topics kept nudging me asking to be penned, but I let leisure have its way. Today is a new day and one for writing!
I noticed that a new movie is out in the theaters called I Can Only Imagine. I’m sure it will bless so many just like the song blessed me many years ago. It made me revisit a tough season in my life that my heart has nudged me to share.
In 2001, I was encouraged by my mother to go back to college to earn a masters degree. I had just given birth to my last baby and she retired to keep her. I can still hear her saying, “Take this opportunity to get your masters degree while she’s young and I can help you.” So, I sacrificed and started an 18 month program the following year in 2002. Sadly after I decided to start the program, we also discovered my father had cancer. I learned so much more than a masters degree in those 18 months.
As I reflect back on this time, I see clearly all of the times I was carried by God. I had just switched school systems and grade levels in 2001. I was not a very astute fifth grade teacher. I was used to teaching older students and boy there is such a difference. I struggled emotionally and intellectually to do my best. I switched the familiarity of a loving school and being very competent in my academic curriculum area for becoming the “new kid on the block.” I felt lonely and inadequate. I had to study every night to hone my skills in an unfamiliar curriculum. Crazy. Crazier still I had a 17, 11, 8, and an infant to come home to each night. I was on the verge of mutiny. What happened? God surrounded me with God warriors. My new teaching partners were amazing people of great faith. They enveloped me in “TLC.” My wonderful husband was my number one cheerleader. He was on board from the beginning. He wanted me to excel. He promised to manage the older kids on my Saturday class days while mom helped with Abbey. So my acquisition began.
On the commute to complete my master’s degree, I learned so much from one of my God warriors and teaching partner, “LuLu.” She was in the learning cohort thanks be to God for real! She’s one of those natural teachers. Her brain amazes me. She has a brilliance for creating and teaching that has to be heaven sent. Besides teaching, she taught me how to pray in everyday moments. For example, if she would see an ambulance on the interstate, she would pray. She taught and inspired me so much about faith. We travelled the interstate, prayed, listened to contemporary Christian music, and became “soul sistas’.”
On one of our trips, we talked about death. She said, “Listen, this is a song I want played at my funeral.” It was “I can only Imagine” by Mercy Me. It became a mantra for me especially because my father was dying of cancer. There were Sundays during this busy and hectic 18 month season when I would weep bitterly during mass because my children’s Poppa was dying and I couldn’t do anything but plead for more time so my youngest would remember him. I know many parishioners thought I had lost it. During this season, God kept me so busy, but he also gave me comfort. The song helped me grieve, believe, and let go of my earthly father. It helped me believe there is more. Imagine.
Each morning, I would drop Abbey, the youngest, off at my parents’ house and head to work. Even though my mother was a hospice nurse to my father, she still valiantly kept Abbey as well. Momma told me Daddy would hold Abbey and say, “Rachel, it’s just like having Sarah again.” I was his baby girl. Abbey grew to help care for her “Poppa.” He and my mother would hold her and nurture her each day. When she learned to walk, she would help by carrying his ketchup bottle to him at lunch time. I chuckle because my daddy put ketchup on everything he ate. She spent almost everyday from 6 months of age until she was 2 years old with my parents while I worked and went back to college. God gave me a strong amazing mother who always keeps her promises. I’m still so blessed from being Rachel’s daughter.
It was the first of June 2003 when I literally succumbed to my crazy season of grief. I remember dropping Abbey off and talking with my Dad. He wanted me to stay. I told him the kids at school were waiting. I pulled myself away. I cried all the way to school that morning. I cried as I greeted my students. I couldn’t talk. My God warriors at work hugged me and made me go home to my Dad. I was so sad. I stopped by my sister’s office before heading to my parents’ house. When she saw me she said, “What’s wrong! Is Daddy gone?” I sobbed, “No, but what if he dies on my birthday?” She hugged me and said, “When you were born, it was one of the best days of his life.” I pulled it together and headed to my parents’ house. He had slipped into unconsciousness and didn’t ever regain consciousness again here on earth.
In the late hours of my birthday on June 3rd 2003, my mom, my sisters, and I took turns praying with my dad. I held his hand and promised to take care of my kids and do be the best person I could possibly be. I told him, “I get it Dad. God is Love. Please go home and rest. I’m going to be okay.” I sang the lyrics of “I can only Imagine” asking him through tears what was he going to do first. Would he dance, sing, fall on his knees, or be in awe? We all then decided to call it a night. We went in around 11 PM to kiss him goodnight. He was taking his last breath as I bent down to kiss him on my birthday. He had begun his new season.
I didn’t want to see the coroners come take him away. So I hugged my mother and sisters and headed to my car. I learned later they arrived there around midnight to officially say he was gone but he left for heaven on my birthday. This was a beautiful gift. I could only imagine what a wonderful adventure my father was having. His soul was released and light. His broken body shed. No more pain or suffering. Imagine. I got in my car to go home. That late night on my birthday when I started my car the song “I can only Imagine” was playing on a contemporary Christian radio station, K-Love. My tears dried. I looked up and said “Thank you God.” My Daddy made it home.
This was a tough and fruitful season in my life. God was in and all around me. My new teaching partners literally completed the end of school year for me from report cards to records because they were Jesus’s hands and mind for me in a time when I couldn’t focus. “LuLu” and I almost had a nervous breakdown but her amazing skills pulled us together and we finished and presented our masters project. I learned that God is always there no matter the obstacles I could imagine. I never knew until a few years later that the song by Mercy Me was written for a band member’s father who died of cancer. Now as I start a new God given spring, I can only imagine the gifts from God that will be given to me in this season of my life. If you’re dying, broken, or scared just try to imagine how God will use and bless you. Don’t be scared. Just imagine.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the I Can Only Imagine Gal
Dedicated to Andrea, Clarissa, & Mandy for being my TLC Crew.
Mom and Judy for their example and motherly love.
My husband for being so unselfish and supporting me besides being an amazing father.
Quotes of the Day:
“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”
“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
“The power of imagination makes us infinite.”
In my mind today, I’m thinking about addiction. Addiction is when you forsake everything for something you desire. Regardless of the harm you inflict on others, the acquisition is all that matters.
Recently the kids and I were talking about a popular tv series that has a notorious alcoholic as the protagonist. My IV Specialist was here and she watches the same series. I asked her if she had a “Frank” in her family. She said, “Gosh, no!” I was astounded. Heck, my family and my husband’s have at least one “Frank” and multiples in some generations. Addiction is hereditary.
Last night as I was trying to go to sleep I kept thinking about addictions. I love watching documentaries and biographies. In grade school my favorite books were biographies. Anyway in a documentary I watched the other day a famous musician had to move to another country to escape the cocaine culture and create music with a clear mind. He had been so “high” for years he had become numb to living in reality. Numb. That’s the word that kept turning over and over in my mind as I wished for sleep to come last night. Addiction numbs you. One doesn’t want to deal with the trappings of life or doesn’t know how to deal with real life situations. The past sometimes prompts you to search for something to mask the pain. The pain must never surface lest you risk feeling. It’s so, so sad that people want to be numb. The musician began again, but this time he could “feel.” He experienced life even heartbreak but it steeled him. He released an amazing album. Out of his stupor, he grew. At the end of his life dying with a excruciating cancer, he didn’t enjoy the “highs” of his medication. He wanted to feel every minute of life he had left. He had conquered addiction.
In a reflection I read it clarified addictions so well. It actually gave insight to the mindset of a person addicted. As I read it I thought, “What a great blog this would make? Addiction.” So many of us today are touched by chemical addiction. Heroine is making a huge comeback. It’s creeping from urban areas to little burgs like mine. Opioids, hydros and pain meds, are recking havoc in our families. I’m praying the “meth” phase is dwindling amongst our population, but sadly it’s becoming more prevalent. Addiction. It is exhausting and heart wrenching when people you love are numb. The addicted continue to deceive not only us but also themselves. Most addicted people feel they are doing great. They use the blame game when cornered or the “At least I’m not like ________, they are doing ________ which is so much worse than me.” Sound familiar? I hope not for your heart’s sake. There’s only one way to truly heal from an addiction. Allow yourself to feel and deal with what drives your pain and thirst to be numb. Then allow something greater to fill your heart and fuel your spirit. That something is God. I pray you’re fortunate to never have to deal with addiction. If you do, know it is in God’s hands.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the End Addiction Gal
Quotes of the Day:
“But they are living on a fundamental self-deception which nothing could cure except the extraordinary advent of God’s love and forgiveness.”
Fr. Herbert McCabe, God, Christ and Us
“Ashes to ashes,
funk to funky
We know Major Tom’s a junkie
Strung out in heaven’s high
Hitting an all-time low”
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.”
“Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All too often, lives and families can be shattered by it.”
“No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions.”
Patrick J. Kennedy
For Heaven’s Sake
In my mind today, I’m thinking of Heaven. You know the polar opposite is Hell. Quit snorting and giggling back row. Yes, I said Hell. When I found out my timeline was going to be drastically shorter than what I expected, I started reading and researching Death and Heaven. I read several books about people who had literally died and been revived. I read books by hospice workers who had experienced people leaving this earthly chapter. My kids thought I was a bit touched in the head and morbid when I discussed my latest book at the supper table. What I found was a common thread of weightlessness, bliss, light, angels, and seeing people who had crossed over sometimes years ago.
Are people just fantasizing? I really don’t think so. There are just too many experiences to explain it all away. I remember in one book the author entered in a place of bright light with the most amazing music and welcoming people but then was told, “It’s not your time. You have to go back.” He was jolted back to earth in a shattered and disabled body. He wasn’t happy about it but eventually saw the purpose for staying earthbound hence his book.
One book I read was written by a hospice nurse. She had been comforting people as they crossed over for more than 30 years. In most of her cases, the person saw angels or people from their past before crossing over. She developed a sixth sense of when death was near.
Can you imagine seeing an angel or multitudes of them? What about seeing loved ones of long ago? Think about seeing God the creator. Wow! What a feeling that would be.
Can you imagine heaven? I can and do often. In church on Sunday, I do. I close my eyes, listen to the music, hear all the people proceeding to the altar for communion, and envision heaven. Just like mass, there will be beautiful music as we all process toward God. All shapes, sizes, and colors of people. It’s beautiful. Usually tears start falling because for those precious minutes after I receive communion, my mind and heart are lifted to heaven. I know there’s more.
I know my students are ready to call the paddy wagon to come take Sal the Mediation Gal off to the “Cuckoo’s Nest.” So, is there more? Is there a heaven? Yes, that’s your assignment today: ponder Heaven. It’s for you to decide if Heaven exist, but for heaven’s sake I hope you do.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Seeking Heaven Gal
Quotes for the Day:
“On earth there is no heaven, but there are pieces of it.”
“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”
George Bernard Shaw
“I think I will be able to, in the end, rise above the clouds and climb the stairs to Heaven, and I will look down on my beautiful life.”
“Joy is the serious business of heaven.”
C. S. Lewis
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”
Two of the many books I read about 5 years ago:
Glimpses of Heaven: True Stories of Hope and Peace at the End of Life’s Journey by Trudy Harris
90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death and Life by Dan Piper
Laughter, Lights, and Love
In my mind today, I’m thinking about Laughter, Lights, and Love. God blessed me with two of the best biological sisters this little sister could ever ask for. We love unconditionally. When one hurts so does the others. I’m so grateful for the hearts my mother nourished in each of her children. Through her strong belief, faith, and hope in God, she created something stunning from her strife as a predominately single mom. She helped us to laugh at our troubles as we grew. She shined her love-light in so many ways that gave us examples of kindness. She showered us with a fierce love that soaked into our souls. God has also granted me sisters in Christ. I have been given writing & book-loving buds, childhood comrades, college cohorts, Alley Alliance warriors, committee cronies, Parish pals, teaching chums, neighbor friends, and Bunco buddies. In each season and chapter of my life, I have and am still blessed beyond measure.
Last night we had our Christmas Bunco Blast at another “sister’s” new business, Holy Cow. It’s located in the quaint, cozy town of Trimble, Tennessee. This group of Bunco “sisters” has been playing together for one score and two years. Students, remember how many years are in a score? Back row, I’m not talking about a Monday night football score! Listen! That’s right front row! Twenty! Add the two and voila, we have shared twenty-two wonderful years together. We’ve been “sisters” through having babies, divorces, retirements, deaths, job changes, moves, our kid’s going to college and getting married, and now our season has the joy of grandchildren. A couple of Bunco Buddies have great-grandchildren. Our age range is a broad spectrum, but that just adds to the spice of our crew. Our little group has shared so much of each other’s pain, happiness, and love. We are the “Ya-Ya’s” of Bunco and we have oh, so much fun.
Last night, the Light of the season was in us all. I laughed hysterically at our antics. Tears of happiness rested in my eyes the entire night. My heart was filled with so much Light, Laughter, and Love for these “sisters.” I’m ever so grateful for each one of them. They are each unique and wonderful in their own ways. While my weakness in my body continues, our sisterhood grows stronger still. You see when you face life’s hardest moments true friends stay. The rest of the world may sadly walk away in the face of adversity, but not my Bunco Ya-Ya’s. They have walked with me through my “new normals” of ALS/PMA. From putting up temporary ramps to feeding me, they brain-storm ways to keep our Bunco Train chugging. I know they will for as long as I have breath in me. We are “Sisters” to the end.
Students, I pray you find God-given siblings in this life. They are truly priceless. If you have some, make time this advent to spend precious moments with them. If you haven’t, then get busy and reach out. Embrace those around you at work or church. Start your own Ya-Ya group! Before you know it, the Laughter, Lights, and Love will traverse scores of time.
So students, this week’s theme for Advent is Light of the Holy Spirit. As we journey through this week of activities, obligations, and bustle, don’t just plug in your Christmas lights on your trees. Be sure that the one you light up first is the Light from above, the Holy Spirit. It was a gift given to mankind over 100 scores ago. It’s in your heart. Be sure to plug it in and let it shine.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Heart-light Gal
Dedicated to all of my Bunco Buddies
Thanks for Dot’s message and reflection from her latest retreat!
Quotes of the Day:
“Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.”
“Friends are the siblings God never gave us.”
“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
In my mind today I’m thinking about how we can survive this life. Just like the old saying, “No one gets out alive” the truth hurts. As we trundle down our life lines, we have many hills to climb and sometimes when you’re lucky you catch some effortless down hill coasting. This reminds me of my biking and running seasons. Those coasting moments are refreshing.
Our book club just read The Mountain Between Us by Charles Martin. It has just been made into a major motion picture. It was a great read about survival and love. Just like in life, we encounter mountains. The mountains can be literal like in our book but also figurative. We have mountains to climb in our personal lives, workplaces, peer groups, families, and especially our spiritual lives. We slip, fall, get lost, and sometimes tumble over the cliff wall. The most important thing is that we give our all so we have no regrets. That’s when we are able to lift our eyes up to see the Glory of the blessings we have given and received in our lives. When the mountain seems too steep, use blind Faith to get you to the top. This whole “life” is so much bigger than we mere humans can fathom.
I ended our Book Club meeting with a quote by a wise, beautiful woman. I was lucky enough in this life to meet her and hear her sing. The quote paralleled the motifs of our book. “To succeed in life you need three things, a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” Your wishbones are your dreams. Your determination is your backbone. Your sense of humor which is ever so important is your funny bone. If you can find humor on your steepest mountain climbs, you’ll be at the summit before you know it. Today as you begin your weekend and Thanksgiving holidays, find your wishbones, backbones, and funny bones.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Mountain Climbing Gal
Dedicated to Reba McIntire for her beautiful spirit, inspiration, and strength.
Quotes of the Day:
“To succeed in life you need three things, a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.”
“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.”
“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”
“Patience and Diligence, like faith, remove mountains.”
In my mind, I’m thinking about “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. “(Romans 13:9) This precept covers many commandments. I’ve always said it’s easy to love those neighbors with which you have commonalities, but what about those who “grind your gears?”
Well, when those people lash out at you or send you passive aggressive messages or talk about you behind your back how do you respond? Sal the Young Ambulatory Gal probably acted totally different that Sal the Old ALS Gal. Young Sal probably played the passive aggressive psychological warfare right back without batting an eye. She also snapped a lot quicker than she would now. Even before I became Sal the Handicapped Gal my heart began to change.
I remember after being hurt by co-workers, family, friends, or parents, I would retreat to my classroom turn out the lights and weep. Within my weeping time, I would pray for my heart and those who had hurt me. You know what, God dried my tears and helped me to smile and forgive never looking back or reacting negatively to those who hurt me. During one of my dark classroom, weeping moments God sent one of my dearest teaching friends to console me. I still go back to this even today when I feel hurt by someone. She said, “Sal feel honored. If you weren’t acting selflessly, then you wouldn’t be doing the right thing. Look at how they treated Jesus. You are blessed with being genuine and acting with your heart.”
The times of scrutiny and backlash haven’t ceased just because I’ve retired from the public sector of teaching. I’ve become really good at praying before reacting to hurtful “neighbors.” You see when your heart is in the right place it makes me think of “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) It’s ever so hard to love in the face of sordidness, pettiness, ignobleness, or haughtiness. People can really be the worst. That’s what prompted me to write today. I want us to think about how others have shown us love.
Love abounds in my life. Here are some recent examples. My family keeps me clean and scrubbed. Most people trapped in a wheelchair don’t get the luxury of a bath and consistently being changed. Yes back row, I meant changing my dipe. Yesterday, I was whisked away by a sweet friend to a painting class with a long time friend. We then bought items for Operation Shoebox to use at my Youth Group. My son who had worked all day took me to Bible study and loaded and unloaded my van. My mother-in-law joined in helping as well. This is just one day in the life of Sal the Loved Gal. God sends people to help me live life to the fullest.
Okay here’s where as a teacher I want you to figure out how can all of this love continually surround me? Think and as a good teacher always should, I’ll give you adequate thinking time. Hear that Jeopardy music in your head? Need a hint? Examine the title of this blog post: Love Flows. Want to love and feel loved? It’s vital that YOU make the initial love offering even to those who hurt you. Forgive them. Especially to the ones who continually lash out or respond with hate. Make no room for revenge or mean reactions in your heart. Catch those moments and whisper a prayer of patience and help for you and the neighbor. I promise if you do, the dam you have built within your heart will begin to crumble. Love will soon be overflowing in your lives. Today try to react with love. Let your Love Flow!
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Love your Neighbor Gal
Quotes of the Day:
“Just let your love flow
Like a mountain stream
And let your love grow
With the smallest of dreams”
The Bellamy Brothers
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
In my mind today, I’m thinking about crushes. Take a moment to reflect back in time. I had huge crushes on “The Fonz” and John Travolta as a teenager. I also had crushes in high school. Do you remember your first crush or first love? Often a crush if mutual becomes a first love. Sometimes they sustain the stress of high school and college. The couple will then wed and start the adult season together. Sometimes it works but not often. My high school graduating class had several that made their first love last and are still together thirty years later. Even our oldest daughter has a successful marriage and life with her high school sweetheart. Kudos to them! They are the exceptions.
First crushes sometimes falter before they even start. It’s still heart-breaking. I’m Sal the Melancholy Gal today because my youngest is so innocent and about to enter the world of crushes, first relationships, and disappointments. As I watch and talk with her about this chapter, my heart breaks. She so needs me more than I ever thought. If you know our “Chuck,” she’s a pretty special gal. She is searching desperately for a knight in shining armor. She wants to date and experience this season. She has very high standards. She’s mature and confident in who she is. Sadly, she’s finding out most people her age are not. Peer pressure has reared its ugly head. She’s realizing people change according to whom they are with at the time. Peer pressure. Most of the teenagers are like chameleons. The skin you’re in depends on the clique you are around. It’s the worst. Here’s the saddest part, it happens in every season of life. I didn’t realize being comfortable and confident in your own skin was such a rarity. But ah, it is. My girl is cursed like her mother of being true to herself. Marching to a beat that is original to you.
We’ve always had a nightly ritual. I used to climb the stairs and snuggle her each night. We would read, talk, and write. We would do a breathing treatment for her asthma and fall asleep snuggled together. When climbing the stairs wasn’t an option anymore, the snuggle-fest was moved to my room. The roles have reversed. We sling me in bed and place my bi-pap mask on my face. After the boys hug and kiss us goodnight, the snuggle-fest commences. We talk and I listen to my girl’s struggles with academics, projects, and trying to survive socially in high school. I could tell she had been crying last night and my heart broke. Why does high school have to be so complicated?
As we talked, I remembered my high school years. I remembered how awkward crushes were and your heart being broken. When you have guy friends and you think, “Hey, he likes me!” Then that super, pretty popular girl arrives and you are dropped like a hot potato. Even worse, the guy says, “Will you ask (fill in the blank) out for me?” You say sure when you want to scream, cry, and run all at the same time. I can’t begin to tell you how many times this happened to me. Watching my girl endure it has made my heart ache.
The thing that I have to remind her of is that this will pass. Keep your head up. Keep being “you” and good things will happen. Everything as a 16 year old is magnified times a billion. Like Taylor Swift sings, “Shake it Off.” I’m so glad I’m still here for her as I realized she still needs me whether I’m Sal the Broken Down Gal or not. This precious time has been granted to us. I thank God every single day for this time with my children.
The first words of my devotion this morning were, “Come to Me when you are hurting and I will soothe your pain. …..I have called you to live differently from the world—to depend on Me to meet all your needs. That’s where you’ll find true confidence and strength. Let Me be your everything. I am all you need.” And then I cried. I cried because I had been carrying that pain for her as she struggles through her awkward teenage years. I cried because I wanted her to be happy. I cried when I realized she was doing the right thing. I cried because I was relieved that she would always be taken care of even if I’m not here.
Sarah Anderson Alley
Sal the Tearful Gal
Patrick & Libby
Scott & Amy
Don & Andi
Artie & Pennye
Alan & Stephanie
Quotes of the Day:
“It’s like trying to describe what you feel when you’re standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon or remembering your first love or the birth of your child. You have to be there to really know what it’s like.”
“Memory has always fascinated me. Think of it. You can recall at will your first day in high school, your first date, your first love.”
“First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.”
George Bernard Shaw
“When everything happens to you when you’re so young, you’re very lucky, but by the same token, you’re never going to have that same feeling again. The first time anything happens to you – your first love, your first success – the second one is never the same.”
“First crushes are properly named. That’s exactly what happens to your heart when the white knight you see evolves into a troll.”
Sarah Anderson Alley
In my mind today I’m thinking about social media, the Internet, and technology. I’m ever so thankful today. I opened up my social media feed this morning and they were all are full of prayers and positive vibes. This gave me hope that in our space and time we can flip the script.
We can spread love and blanket the evil that invades our minds each time we open up social media. Face it. Twitter, FB, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Google have become a forum for Americans and most of the industrialized world. Ignoring it is not effective. We now have to use it to spread faith, hope, and love. It shouldn’t be the face of dissension.
Social media can be a cohesive tool to bring positive ideas and people together. When I taught I would ask my students many times, “What did Thumper’s father tell him?”
This applies to us on all types of levels. Social media used by rabble rousers just puts us against each other. As a history teacher, I know that at the heart of all change in this country love has resided. That understanding among the common men and women has created our country into a country of hope. We need unity in our country. That’s the only way we will give hope and ensure hope for the future. Hope for good, affordable healthcare for all, a higher minimum wage and benefits for those who work, students getting degrees without drowning in debt, and education systems directed by seasoned educators not politicians and testing companies. These are just a few on my wish list.
Let’s take the gloves off Americans. We are not each other’s adversary. We are allies to spread hope. I feel most are like me. We want a government that works for us as problem solvers. Not spending time calling for donations to keep them in office. They should not be in any position of government because they have the largest fundraising or banking account. They should be there because they have the biggest hearts for ALL Americans from the homeless to the billionaires. Here’s a thought, let them work for minimum wage and get their own healthcare. Most have been economically successful, right? Maybe I’m way off base. In my little corner of the USA common, everyday Americans are genuinely good. We want to have a family, a way to provide and feed that family, a two-car garage with dependable cars, a retirement fund, and good educations for our kids. Am I right?
I will not look at media and believe all the doom and gloom. Yes it’s out there, but there’s so much more good going on in our communities. Let’s all hit the “share” button on the good.
Sal the Political Gal
I’m not endorsed by anyone. I don’t care if you are a Democrat, Republican, Tea Party, Independent, etc. Everyone has a moral compass. Doing what is right has no political affiliation, but maybe one of the Divine sort.
Dedicated to the common, simple, everyday Americans
Quotes of the Day:
“When terrorists attacked the symbols of our national unity and strength, they failed to realize that they were just symbols of our strength. The real strength of our nation comes from our people – not our buildings.”
“It is important for people to be able to read all sides of every question; for a feeling of national unity does not come from one-sided or inadequate information, but from a sense of freedom impartially secured and of opportunity equalized by a just government.”
“Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.”
“Where there is unity there is always victory.”